133 bài hội thoại tiếng anh đọc chậm, rõ ràng

143 bài hôi thoại tiếng anh đọc chậm, rõ ràng – Trong bài học, tốc độ sẽ được tặng dần giúp cho người mới bắt đầu học Tiếng Anh có thể tiến bộ dần dần.

Link tải bao gồm: sách PDF kèm Audio MP3. 2 bước tải tài liệu:

Tìm Fanpage Tiếng Anh ABC

Like Page và Gửi tin nhắn với nội dung “link tải 133 bài hội thoại tiếng anh”


  1. I Live in Pasadena. 5
  2. I Have a Honda. 5
  3. Do You Have a Girlfriend?. 5
  4. Walking the Dog. 6
  5. Borrowing Money. 6
  6. Going to the Beach. 7
  7. My Wife Left Me. 7
  8. What’s on TV?. 7
  9. A Nice Place to Live. 8
  10. The New Mattress. 8
  11. My Laptop Is So Slow.. 9
  12. How about a Pizza?. 9
  13. The New House. 9
  14. Fish Are Everywhere. 10
  15. A Bad Boyfriend. 10
  16. Talking Animals. 11
  17. Housecleaning Day. 11
  18. A TV Lover 11
  19. Write to Your Grandma. 12
  20. Are You Sleepy?. 12
  21. God Is Watching. 13
  22. Feed the Cat 13
  23. Shave Your Face. 13
  24. Two Polite People. 14
  25. Give Me a Puppy. 14
  26. Kittens to Give Away. 15
  27. Happy in Heaven. 15
  28. His Line Is Never Busy. 15
  29. Friday the 13th. 16
  30. Do You Love Me?. 16
  31. Dad Has a Girlfriend. 17
  32. What’s That Smell?. 17
  33. They Deliver 17
  34. A Lost Button. 18
  35. Did You Say Something?. 18
  36. Washed and Folded. 19
  37. Talk Radio. 19
  38. A Bad Diet 19
  39. A Ham Sandwich. 20
  40. Time for Your Bath. 20
  41. A Black Screen. 21
  42. A New Hard Drive. 21
  43. Your Email Address. 21
  44. Time for a Nap. 22
  45. Thinking about His Funeral 22
  46. The Elephant 23
  47. You Can Have Some of My Friends. 23
  48. If You Cheat, You Will Die. 23
  49. Let’s Not Go Out 24
  50. Fill Out the Form.. 24
  51. The Animal Shelter 25
  52. Is It Raining?. 25
  53. It’s So Hot 25
  54. A Snowman. 26
  55. The ATM.. 26
  56. Move the Blue Bin. 27
  57. Digital TV. 27
  58. Just Shoot Me. 27
  59. Don’t Be a Racist 28
  60. Use a Tissue. 28
  61. Two Little Ones. 29
  62. But Is It Art?. 29
  63. Life Is for Living. 29
  64. A Tough Choice. 30
  65. Patch It or Sew It?. 30
  66. What’s So Funny?. 31
  67. Spanish Spoken Here. 31
  68. It’s the Only Earth We’ve Got 31
  69. No Time for Rhyme. 32
  70. Dumb and Happy. 32
  71. Live from NBC 4! 33
  72. Life after Death. 33
  73. Wipe Your Feet 33
  74. Mother’s Day. 34
  75. A New Flag. 34
  76. Work up an Appetite. 35
  77. Dialing for a Dollar 35

School Life. 35

  1. I Go to College. 35
  2. A Lost Pen. 36
  3. Gravity for All 36
  4. New Glasses. 37
  5. School Items. 37
  6. A Good Magazine. 37
  7. Shake Your Pen. 38
  8. Do Your Homework. 38
  9. The Soldier 39
  10. The English Major 39
  11. No Parking. 39
  12. Keep Your Eyes Open. 40
  13. Two Plus Two. 40
  14. Prayers. 41
  15. Hit and Run. 41

Transportation. 42

  1. What Will People Think?. 42
  2. Don’t Ride the Bus. 42
  3. Don’t Cut the Tires. 42
  4. The Crosswalk. 43
  5. It’s Okay to Speed. 43
  6. Check Your Tires. 44
  7. Don’t Be in a Hurry. 44
  8. A New Car 44
  9. I’m Going to Explode. 45
  10. The Missing Car 45
  11. Too Many Cars. 46
  12. Don’t Call the Police. 46
  13. Wash the Car 46
  14. Windy Weather 47
  15. Two Birds with One Stone. 47
  16. Beat the Light 48
  17. A Dream Car 48
  18. A Bad Driver?. 48
  19. A Slow Walker 49
  20. Hit and Run. 49
  21. Beware the Carts. 50

Entertainment 50

  1. A Great Movie. 50
  2. A Card Game. 50
  3. I Have Four Aces. 51
  4. Too Much Volume. 51
  5. Don’t Waste Your Money. 52
  6. Rained Out 52
  7. A Sip of Coffee. 52
  8. A Chilly Day. 53
  9. A Crazy Driver 53
  10. It Isn’t News. 54
  11. The Great Wall 54
  12. The Beatles. 54
  13. See a Movie. 55
  14. People-Watching. 55
  15. Free Money. 56
  16. Old Movies. 56
  17. Something for Nothing. 56
  18. Judge Judy. 57
  19. A Good Singer 57
  20. Going Digital 58


1. I Live in Pasadena

A: Where do you live?
B: I live in Pasadena.
A: Where is Pasadena?
B: It’s in California.
A: Is it in northern California?
B: No. It’s in southern California.
A: Is Pasadena a big city?
B: It’s pretty big.
A: How big is “pretty big”?
B: It has about 140,000 people.
A: How big is Los Angeles?
B: It has about 3 million people

2. I Have a Honda

A: Do you have a car?
B: Yes, I do.
A: What kind of car do you have?
B: I have a Honda.
A: Is it new?
B: It was new in 2003.
A: So, it’s pretty old now.
B: Yes, it is. But it still looks good.
A: Do you take good care of it?
B: Oh, yes. I wash it once a week.
A: Do you change the oil?
B: My mechanic changes the oil twice a year.

3. Do You Have a Girlfriend?

A: Do you have a girlfriend?
B: No, I don’t. Do you?
A: I don’t have a girlfriend, either.
B: Why not?
A: I don’t know. Maybe I’m not rich enough.
B: Girls like guys with money.
A: They sure do.
B: They like guys with new cars.
A: I don’t have money or a new car.
B: Me, neither.
A: But girls like guys who are funny.
B: Maybe we should learn some good jokes.

4. Walking the Dog

A: Where are you going?
B: I have to walk the dog.
A: What kind of dog do you have?
B: I have a little poodle.
A: Poodles bark a lot.
B: They sure do.
A: They bark at everything.
B: They never shut up.
A: Why did you get a poodle?
B: It’s my mom’s dog.
A: So she likes poodles.
B: She says they’re good watchdogs.

5. Borrowing Money

A: Can I borrow $5?
B: Sure. Why do you need it?
A: I want to buy lunch.
B: Where’s your money?
A: It’s not in my wallet.
B: Your wallet is empty?
A: I don’t have even one dollar in it.
B: Being broke is no fun.
A: Even if it’s only for a short while.
B: It’s always good to have friends.
A: Friends will lend you money when you’re broke.
B: As long as you pay them back.

6. Going to the Beach

A: Let’s go to the beach.
B: That’s a great idea.
A: We haven’t been in a while.
B: We haven’t been in a month.
A: The last time we went, you almost drowned.
B: No, I didn’t.
A: Then why did the lifeguard dive into the water?
B: I think he wanted to cool off.
A: He swam right up to you.
B: And then he turned right around.
A: Maybe you’re right.
B: Maybe we should get going.

7. My Wife Left Me

A: Are you married?
B: No. I’m divorced.
A: When did you get divorced?
B: I got divorced two years ago.
A: Why did you get divorced?
B: My wife left me.
A: Why did she leave you?
B: She said she didn’t love me anymore.
A: Wow! That’s terrible.
B: Yes, it was.
A: Why didn’t she love you anymore?
B: She fell in love with my best friend.

8. What’s on TV?

A: I’m bored.
B: What’s on TV?
A: Nothing.
B: There must be something on TV!
A: Nothing that’s interesting.
B: What about that new game show?
A: Which one?
B: “Deal or No Deal”
A: Tell me you’re joking.
B: I love that show.
A: I watched it once. That was enough.
B: It’s on right now. Let’s watch it together.

9. A Nice Place to Live

A: I like living here.
B: I agree. Pasadena is a nice city.
A: It’s not too big.
B: And it’s not too small.
A: It has great weather all year long.
B: It has the Rose Parade.
A: It has beautiful houses.
B: It has wonderful restaurants.
A: It has great schools.
B: It’s close to the mountains.
A: The people are friendly.
B: I’m not ever going to leave.

10. The New Mattress

A: We need a new mattress.
B: What’s the matter with this one?
A: It’s not comfortable.
B: It seems fine to me.
A: I toss and turn all night.
B: You should stop drinking coffee.
A: Look at these marks on my arms.
B: What are they?
A: They are bites.
B: Did the cat bite you?
A: No. The bedbugs in that mattress bit me.
B: Okay. Let’s get a new mattress.

11. My Laptop Is So Slow

A: My laptop is so slow.
B: Buy a new one.
A: I would if I had the money.
B: Why is it so slow?
A: That’s a good question.
B: Did you take it to a computer shop?
A: I would if I had the money.
B: Well, I guess you have to live with it.
A: Sometimes I want to throw it out the window.
B: You don’t want to do that.
A: Why not?
B: You might hit someone in the head.

12. How about a Pizza?

A: What’s for dinner?
B: I’m not sure.
A: How about a pizza?
B: You had pizza for lunch.
A: But I love pizza.
B: Everybody loves pizza.
A: So why can’t I have pizza for dinner?
B: Because you need variety.
A: What’s “variety?
B: Different things—not the same thing all the time.
A: You mean, like a pepperoni pizza instead of a cheese pizza?
B: No, I mean a salad instead of a pizza.

13. The New House

A: We need to save money.
B: Why do we need to save money?
A: Because we need to buy a house.
B: But a house is so expensive.
A: That’s why we need to save money.
B: How much do we need to save?
A: We need to save enough for a down payment.
B: How much is that?
A: That’s about $30,000.
B: Thirty thousand dollars! That will take forever.
A: Not if we save every penny.
B: Okay. Here’s seven pennies.

14. Fish Are Everywhere

A: The ocean is so big.
B: You can’t see the end of it.
A: It goes on and on forever.
B: And it’s deep, too.
A: I think it’s five miles deep.
B: Are there fish at the bottom?
A: There are fish at the top and the bottom.
B: Are there more fish or more people?
A: I think there are more fish.
B: I hope so. I love to eat fish.

15. A Bad Boyfriend

A: I’m upset with my mom.
B: Why is that?
A: I warned her about her new boyfriend. She didn’t listen to me.
B: What happened?
A: I gave her $1,000 for her birthday. I told her to spend it on herself.
B: That was very nice of you.
A: I found out that she gave it to her new boyfriend.
B: Why did she do that?
A: He said he would buy her a nice ring.
B: What’s wrong with that?
A: He went to Las Vegas. He lost it all gambling.
B: I hope your mom broke up with him.

16. Talking Animals

A: Do animals talk to each other?
B: Of course they talk to each other.
A: What do they talk about?
B: They talk about other animals.
A: What else do they talk about?
B: They talk about food and the weather.
A: Do they talk about us?
B: Of course they talk about us.
A: What do they say about us?
B: They say that we are funny-looking.
A: Ha! We’re not funny-looking; animals are funny-looking.
B: We’re funny-looking because we wear clothes.

17. Housecleaning Day

A: I have to clean the house.
B: Yes, it’s very dirty.
A: You can help me.
B: Why me?
A: Because you helped make it dirty.
B: What do you want me to do?
A: I want you to clean the bathroom.
B: Oh, that’s easy.
A: Clean the sink, the tub, the counter, and the toilet.
B: That’s a lot of work.
A: Tell me when you finish.
B: I don’t think so. You’ll just give me more work.

18. A TV Lover

A: You’re watching too much TV.
B: What do you mean?
A: I mean you’re wasting your life.
B: I’m having fun.
A: You’re sitting there with your mouth open.
B: Who cares?
A: I care. Do something.
B: Okay. I did something.
A: What did you do?
B: I turned up the volume.
A: That’s not what I meant by “do something.”
B: Will you do something? Leave me alone.

19. Write to Your Grandma

A: Did you write a letter to grandma?
B: Yes, I did.
A: Did you tell her about school?
B: I told her that school is fun.
A: Did you put the letter in an envelope?
B: Yes, and I sealed the envelope.
A: Did you put a stamp on the envelope?
B: I couldn’t find any stamps.
A: They’re in the kitchen drawer.
B: Okay. I just put a stamp on the envelope.
A: Give me the envelope, and I’ll mail it for you.
B: When is grandma going to learn about e-mail?

20. Are You Sleepy?

A: Why are you yawning?
B: I’m sleepy.
A: Why don’t you go to bed?
B: I want to watch this TV show.
A: Maybe you should record it.
B: The tape recorder is broken.
A: Then you should watch the rerun.
B: Why? I’m watching the original.
A: But you’ll be asleep in about one minute.
B: I’m just yawning because the commercials are on.
A: Okay. I’ll tell you how the show ends.
B: Zzz.

21. God Is Watching

A: It’s Sunday.
B: So?
A: You know what that means.
B: I forgot.
A: Sunday means we go to church.
B: Oh, yeah.
A: Put on a coat and tie.
B: Why?
A: To show respect to God and others.
B: I’m glad Sunday is only once a week.
A: I hope God didn’t hear that.
B: He’ll forgive me

22. Feed the Cat

A: Did you feed the cat?
B: I’ll do that in a minute.
A: The cat is meowing. He’s hungry.
B: Okay. I’ll feed him right now.
A: You shouldn’t make him wait.
B: I was doing my homework.
A: The cat doesn’t care about your homework.
B: The cat doesn’t care about anything.
A: That’s the way cats are.
B: All they think about is themselves.
A: Maybe we should get rid of him.
B: Of course not! He’s family.

23. Shave Your Face

A: I hate shaving.
B: Me too.
A: I just cut myself again.
B: Did you use a new blade?
A: It doesn’t matter. Old blades cut, new blades cut.
B: Maybe you should use an electric shaver.
A: They make a lot of noise, but they don’t give a close shave.
B: Maybe you should stop shaving.
A: And grow a beard?
B: Sure. Why not?
A: Because food and other stuff sticks in my beard.
B: Hmm. Here’s an idea. Put cream on your face and have the cat lick it off.

24. Two Polite People

A: Excuse me.
B: Yes?
A: Are you reading this paper?
B: Oh, no. Help yourself.
A: I asked because the paper is sitting next to you.
B: Thank you. That’s polite of you to ask.
A: Some people would just pick it up.
B: Yes, I know. Some people are rude.
A: I always try to be polite.
B: So do I.
A: The world needs more polite people like us.
B: I agree 100 percent.

25. Give Me a Puppy

A: Mom, I want a puppy.
B: Let me think about it.
A: Why do you have to think about it?
B: Because a puppy costs money.
A: No, it doesn’t. Puppies are free.
B: Yes, but a puppy needs shots.
A: Shots for what?
B: So it won’t get sick. Just like you get shots.
A: I hate shots.
B: And a puppy eats food. Food costs money.
A: No problem. I’ll give him food off my plate.
B: Oh, no you don’t. Puppies don’t eat vegetables.

26. Kittens to Give Away

A: Look at all these kittens!
B: How many are there?
A: Eight.
B: They’re all so cute.
A: Yes, but I can’t keep them.
B: What are you going to do with them?
A: I’m going to give them away. Do you want one?
B: Yes, I would love one.
A: Which one do you want?
B: That one. The one that’s all black.
A: Yes, I like that one, too.
B: I’ll call him Blacky.

27. Happy in Heaven

A: My parents go to church every Sunday.
B: They trust in God.
A: They hope they will go to heaven.
B: They probably will.
A: But no one knows for sure.
B: That’s for sure.
A: No one knows what happens after we die.
B: If we are good, we will be happy in heaven with God.
A: That’s what many people believe.
B: If we are bad, we will be unhappy forever in hell.
A: I don’t want to go to hell.
B: Let’s go to church with your parents on Sunday

28. His Line Is Never Busy

A: My husband died.
B: I’m sorry for you.
A: Thank you.
B: When did he die?
A: A couple of months ago.
B: You still miss him.
A: Yes, but I talk to him almost every day.
B: When you go to church?
A: No, when I call him on his cell phone.
B: What do you mean?
A: I buried him with his cell phone.
B: What will you do when the battery dies?

29. Friday the 13th

A: Today is Friday the thirteenth.
B: That’s a bad day.
A: It’s supposed to be unlucky.
B: You’re supposed to stay home all day.
A: That’s what I do.
B: My friend stayed in a hotel on Friday the thirteenth.
A: That was a mistake.
B: He stayed on the thirteenth floor.
A: What happened?
B: Someone stole his laptop.
A: He was asking for it.
B: He learned his lesson. He’s home today.

30. Do You Love Me?

A: Do you really love me?
B: Of course.
A: Prove it.
B: How can I prove it?
A: Take me to dinner.
B: That’s it? That’s all I have to do?
A: Take me to a nice restaurant, not to McDonald’s.
B: But a nice restaurant costs money.
A: Yes, and you have to make a reservation.
B: That’s such a hassle.
A: I knew you didn’t love me.
B: Okay, okay! I’ll make a reservation right now.

31. Dad Has a Girlfriend

A: My parents are divorced.
B: So are mine.
A: Why did your parents get divorced?
B: My father found a new girlfriend.
A: That’s too bad.
B: My mother was hurt and angry.
A: She had good reason. What did she do?
B: She told him to drop his girlfriend.
A: What did your father do?
B: He moved out of our house.
A: I guess he really liked his new girlfriend.
B: Yes, but she left him a year later.

32. What’s That Smell?

A: My grandma’s apartment smells funny.
B: So does mine.
A: I think it’s an old people’s smell.
B: Really?
A: Yes. I think when you get old, you begin to smell.
B: Like fruit that is too ripe?
A: Yes, just like fruit that is too ripe.
B: But the smell is different.
A: Yes, old people don’t smell like fruit.
B: No, they smell like a thrift shop.
A: Yes, a thrift shop has that same smell.
B: Yes, an old smell.

33. They Deliver

A: The price of stamps goes up and up.
B: I think stamps used to cost a penny.
A: That was a long time ago.
B: It was before I was born.
A: Now a stamp is 42 cents.
B: But in May it will be 44 cents.
A: Have you ever lost a letter in the mail?
B: No, I haven’t.
A: Neither have I.
B: So, they do a good job for the money.
A: Yes, they do.
B: Maybe we shouldn’t complain.

34. A Lost Button

A: A button came off my shirt.
B: What are you going to do?
A: First, I have to find the button.
B: Where did you lose it?
A: I have no idea.
B: A button is hard to find. Did you look in your pant cuffs?
A: That’s a good idea.
B: I found a button in my pant cuffs one time.
A: Let me look. No, it’s not there.
B: Many shirts come with an extra button.
A: You’re right. This one does have an extra button.
B: Now all you have to do is sew it on.

35. Did You Say Something?

A: I have to go to the bathroom.
B: You drink too much coffee.
A: But I love coffee.
B: Well, it’s your life.
A: You eat too much chocolate.
B: I don’t think so.
A: Have you looked in the mirror?
B: Do you think I’m getting fat?
A: I didn’t say that.
B: What did you say?
A: I said I have to go to the bathroom.
B: That’s what I thought you said.

36. Washed and Folded

A: Did you do the laundry?
B: Yes, I did.
A: What did you wash?
B: I washed the sheets and towels.
A: What about the pillowcases?
B: Yes, I took them off the pillows and washed them.
A: Did you dry everything in the dryer?
B: Yes, I dried everything in the dryer.
A: Then what did you do?
B: I folded all the towels.
A: Did you put the sheets on the beds?
B: Yes, and I put the pillowcases on the pillows.

37. Talk Radio

A: Do you listen to the radio?
B: I listen day and night.
A: What do you listen to?
B: Mostly talk radio.
A: What’s that?
B: People talk about current events.
A: What do they say?
B: They say they want change.
A: What kind of change?
B: They want tax cuts.
A: Why do they want tax cuts?
B: Because tax cuts will save them money.

38. A Bad Diet

A: Mom, I’m hungry.
B: Look in the fridge.
A: I’m looking. There’s nothing to eat.
B: Are you sure?
A: It’s almost empty.
B: I went to the market yesterday.
A: I don’t see anything.
B: I bought lots of oranges and apples.
A: I don’t want fruit. I want something tasty.
B: Eat the fruit. It’s good for you.
A: Next time you go to the market, let me go with you.
B: No, thank you. All you want to eat are hot dogs and candy bars.

39. A Ham Sandwich

A: What is there to eat?
B: I don’t know. Look in the fridge.
A: I think I’ll make a sandwich.
B: What kind?
A: A ham sandwich.
B: The bread is in the cabinet.
A: Where’s the mustard?
B: It’s in the fridge, I think.
A: Oh, yes, here it is. Do you want a sandwich?
B: Yes, that sounds nice.
A: How about some potato chips?
B: Yes. And a pickle, if we have any.

40. Time for Your Bath

A: It’s time for your bath, young lady.
B: But, Mom, I’m not dirty.
A: You need a bath every day.
B: Why?
A: Because you don’t want to smell bad.
B: I don’t smell bad.
A: That’s what you think.
B: If I smelled bad, I could smell me.
A: I can smell you.
B: I can smell you, too.
A: That’s my perfume.
B: When can I wear perfume?

41. A Black Screen

A: Something’s wrong with my computer.
B: Exactly what?
A: All I get is a black screen.
B: What’s the matter?
A: I think I know, because this happened before.
B: What happened before?
A: My hard drive crashed.
B: Oh, no. That’s bad news.
A: It sure is, but I’m going to call HP first, just to make sure.
B: Will you lose all your files?
A: No, I always back up my files.
B: You’re smart.

42. A New Hard Drive

A: I called HP about my computer.
B: What did they say?
A: They said I need a new hard drive.
B: That’s too bad. How much is a new one?
A: It’s not too much, only about $85.
B: Plus installation?
A: No, my hard drive is easy to remove and replace.
B: Really?
A: Yes, it’s just a couple of screws.
B: That’s nice.
A: It’s a lot better than paying someone $60.
B: If my hard drive crashes, I’ll just call you.

43. Your Email Address

A: What’s your email address?
B: It’s bluedog123.
A: Bluedog123. Are you sure that’s all?
B: Yes.
A: No. That’s incomplete.
B: What do you mean?
A: What’s your mailing address?
B: 456 Cherry Drive, Pasadena, CA 91170.
A: That’s correct.
B: So what’s the problem?
A: Bluedog123 is just the street. You have to give me the city, state, and
ZIP code.
B: Oh, I get it. My email address is bluedog123@yahoo.com.

44. Time for a Nap

A: I’m going to take a nap.
B: You should unplug the phone.
A: That’s a good idea.
B: Do you want me to wake you in an hour?
A: No, thanks. Just let me sleep until I wake up.
B: I’ll start dinner at 6:00.
A: Okay. I think I’ll be awake by then.
B: If not, your nose will wake you up.
A: You mean I will smell the food cooking?
B: You might even dream about dinner.
A: I don’t think I’m going to dream about anything. I’m really tired.
B: Have a nice nap.

45. Thinking about His Funeral

A: That was a nice funeral.
B: Yes, dad, it was.
A: The son gave a nice speech about his father.
B: It was long, too.
A: I think it was about 45 minutes long.
B: But it went by fast. It was interesting.
A: I liked it.
B: I’ll give you a speech like that, too.
A: Do you think anyone will come to my funeral?
B: Of course.
A: I think only the family will be there.
B: You have lots of friends. They will be there, too!

46. The Elephant

A: Yikes! What was that noise?
B: I had to blow my nose.
A: Did you have to blow right next to the phone?
B: Did you hear that?
A: Of course I heard that. I thought a plane had crashed into your house.
B: It wasn’t that loud.
A: I will blow my nose sometime for you, and you’ll see.
B: Okay. I’ll take your word for it.
A: I thought you had an elephant in your house.
B: You’re funny.
A: What did you say? I think I’ve gone deaf.
B: I’m going into the bathroom to blow my nose. I’ll be right back.

47. You Can Have Some of My Friends

A: I have lots of friends.
B: Really? How many do you have?
A: I don’t know, maybe one hundred.
B: That is a lot of friends. Do you have a best friend?
A: Of course. I have lots of best friends.
B: How many best friends do you have?
A: I think about twenty-five.
B: Hmm. I have only one best friend.
A: I feel sorry for you.
B: I have only a few friends.
A: You must be lonely. I will share my friends with you.
B: That’s very nice of you.

48. If You Cheat, You Will Die

A: Don’t you ever cheat on me.
B: Why would I do that?
A: Because men like to cheat.
B: Some men do, but not me.
A: I’m watching you.
B: I’m an open book. Watch me all you want.
A: If I catch you, you’ll be sorry.
B: You won’t catch me, because I love you. I’m not a cheater.
A: I will poke your eyes out.
B: I don’t want any other woman.
A: I will chop your toes off, one by one.
B: Honey, please. You’re the only woman for me, forever. I swear it.

49. Let’s Not Go Out

A: I hate to go outside.
B: Me too.
A: Why do you hate to go outside?
B: I meet too many jerks.
A: I agree.
B: This city is full of jerks.
A: Rude people are everywhere.
B: But what can you do?
A: You can yell at them.
B: And they will yell back at you.
A: Yelling doesn’t do any good.
B: No. The best thing to do is just stay home.

50. Fill Out the Form

A: Will you look at this form?
B: Are you having problems with it?
A: I don’t understand some things.
B: Let me help you.
A: What does “MI” mean?
B: “MI” stands for Middle Initial.
A: What does “MM/DD/YY” mean?
B: That means Month/Day/Year. Use numbers.
A: I don’t understand.
B: For example, if your birth date is January 12, 1987, write 01/12/87.
A: Oh. That’s simple enough.
B: Always print clearly, and fill in the bubbles completely.

51. The Animal Shelter

A: Let’s go to the animal shelter.
B: What do you want to do?
A: I want to get a puppy for my son.
B: That will make him so happy.
A: I’ll get him one of those little dogs.
B: One that won’t grow up too big.
A: And eat too much.
B: Do you know which one he would like?
A: Oh, yes, I took him there yesterday. He showed me one that he really
B: I bet you had to drag him away.
A: He wanted to take it home yesterday.
B: I wonder what he’ll name it.

52. Is It Raining?

A: What’s the weather like?
B: I don’t know. I just woke up.
A: Why don’t you look outside?
B: Okay. It looks like rain.
A: Why do you say that?
B: The sky is gray.
A: Is it raining right now?
B: No.
A: How do you know?
B: The street isn’t wet.
A: I have to go shopping today.
B: You’d better take an umbrella.

53. It’s So Hot

A: I can’t believe how hot it is.
B: It’s not even noon yet.
A: That means it will get hotter.
B: I am dying from the heat.
A: Turn on the air conditioner.
B: It doesn’t work.
A: What happened?
B: I don’t know.
A: Did you call the repairman?
B: Of course.
A: When is he coming?
B: He’s busy. He said next week.

54. A Snowman

A: I’ll be glad when winter comes.
B: Why is that?
A: Because I love the snow.
B: Yes, the snow is fun.
A: Last year we made a big snowman.
B: How big was it?
A: It was seven feet tall.
B: How long did it take?
A: It took us all day.
B: Did you give him a nose?
A: Of course. We gave him a big carrot for a nose.
B: Let me help you make one this year.

55. The ATM

A: I’m going to the bank.
B: What do you need to do?
A: I need to withdraw some money.
B: How are you going to do that?
A: I’ll just use the ATM.
B: What’s that?
A: It’s the Automatic Teller Machine.
B: It gives you money?
A: I just insert my debit card into the machine.
B: And it gives you money?
A: Well, it gives me money, but it’s my own money.
B: Oh. What good is that? I thought it gave you free money.

56. Move the Blue Bin

A: Did you put the blue bin out on the street?
B: Oh, no. I forgot.
A: Well, you’d better take it out front.
B: What time does the recycle truck come by?
A: It usually gets here at noon on Tuesday, which is tomorrow.
B: I’ll just take it out to the street tomorrow morning.
A: Oh, no, you don’t.
B: What do you mean?
A: Every morning you get up late and rush off to work late.
B: Do you think I’ll forget to do it?
A: You’ll remember to do it, but you won’t have time to do it.
B: Okay, I’ll take it out front right now.

57. Digital TV

A: Are you ready?
B: Ready for what?
A: Ready for the big switch.
B: What are you talking about?
A: The nation is switching to digital TV.
B: Oh. Of course I’m ready.
A: Did you buy the converter?
B: No, I don’t need a converter because I bought a digital TV.
A: How much was that?
B: It was only about $120 for a 13-inch screen.
A: Does it pick up any digital channels?
B: Oh, yes. I get six Korean channels but nothing in English!

58. Just Shoot Me

A: People are funny.
B: They sure are.
A: Did you hear about the pilot?
B: The one that stole a small plane?
A: Yes, he stole a plane in Canada and flew into the U.S.
B: Did they catch him?
A: Yes. After two U.S. fighter jets followed him for an hour, he landed on a
B: Did he crash?
A: No, he just landed the plane and walked to a restaurant.
B: Did the cops find out why he flew into the U.S.?
A: His life sucked. He was hoping a fighter jet would shoot him down.
B: Poor guy.

59. Don’t Be a Racist

A: The police need our help finding a robber.
B: How do you know?
A: The TV news is reporting a bank robbery.
B: Do they know what the robber looks like?
A: Yes, he’s 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, black hair, and about 30 years old.
B: What race is he?
A: They didn’t say.
B: The TV news doesn’t tell us the race anymore.
A: Of course not. That would be racist.
B: But how can we identify someone if we don’t know their race?
A: Don’t ask me.
B: Then they also shouldn’t tell us if the robber is male or female, because
that is sexist.

60. Use a Tissue

A: Don’t wipe your nose on your sleeve.
B: But I don’t have a tissue.
A: Then go find a tissue in the bathroom.
B: I didn’t have time to get one from there.
A: Your sleeves are not tissues.
B: But Mom, all my friends use their sleeves.
A: That doesn’t make it right.
B: I saw Dad wipe his nose on his sleeve yesterday.
A: I will talk to your father about that.
B: I bet Dad did it all the time when he was my age.
A: Your daddy was a good little boy.
B: How do you know? Were you his mommy, too?

61. Two Little Ones

A: I’m worried.
B: Worried about what?
A: I’m getting married.
B: You should be happy, not worried.
A: I am happy, but marriage is a lot of responsibility.
B: Yes, you have to take care of your wife.
A: And I have to take care of our children.
B: Are you going to start a family?
A: Yes. We want to have a little boy and a little girl.
B: That sounds wonderful.
A: Except we can’t afford it!
B: No wonder you’re worried.

62. But Is It Art?

A: I don’t get art.
B: Or artists.
A: They’re in a different world.
B: I saw a painting of a jar that was full of pencils.
A: The artist said the jar was both full and empty.
B: But it was full of pencils! How could he say it was empty?
A: Artists see things differently.
B: Did you ever see anything that Picasso painted?
A: Of course! He’s world famous.
B: Did he ever take art lessons?
A: I can’t believe it. I drew paintings like that in third grade.
B: Where are they? Maybe they are worth millions.

63. Life Is for Living

A: What’s the point?
B: The point of what?
A: Of living.
B: Who knows? You live, and then you die.
A: We must be here for some reason.
B: Maybe we’re here to have fun.
A: Then why aren’t I having fun?
B: Because you’re thinking too much.
A: So I should stop thinking?
B: Stop thinking about what the point is.
A: Okay. I’ll start thinking about having some fun.
B: Just be patient. Fun doesn’t come along every five minutes.

64. A Tough Choice

A: Beer is a powerful drug.
B: So are cigarettes.
A: Which would you prefer?
B: What do you mean?
A: When you die and go to heaven, they will offer you beer or cigarettes.
B: I could pick only one or the other?
A: Yes. Nothing’s perfect, not even in heaven.
B: Boy, that’s a tough one.
A: What’s so tough about it? Of course, I would pick cigarettes.
B: But cigarettes taste much better when you have a cold beer.
A: Well, you can’t have everything.
B: I don’t think I want to go to your heaven.

65. Patch It or Sew It?

A: My pants have a hole in the front pocket.
B: You shouldn’t carry pens in your pocket.
A: Yesterday a pen fell through my pants onto my shoe.
B: Lucky for you it wasn’t a sharp knife.
A: Who carries a sharp knife in their pocket?
B: Criminals, of course.
A: Anyway, I have to fix the hole.
B: You can sew it up or use an iron-on patch.
A: Tell me about this patch.
B: The patch has glue. The hot iron melts the glue so the patch sticks on.
A: That sounds a lot easier than sewing.
B: It is. But after about ten washings, the glue washes off.

66. What’s So Funny?

A: Do you know any good jokes?
B: I can’t remember jokes.
A: Neither can I.
B: They go in one ear and out the other.
A: Who makes up all these jokes?
B: Who knows? But there must be a hundred new ones every day.
A: Yes, just in English alone.
B: I wonder if every language has jokes.
A: Of course! People everywhere like good jokes.
B: What do you think people joke about the most?
A: I think most jokes are about women.
B: Oh, really? I think most jokes are about men!

67. Spanish Spoken Here

A: You’re very lucky.
B: Why do you say that?
A: You speak two languages.
B: Well, my English isn’t perfect.
A: No one speaks perfect English.
B: Maybe I will be the first!
A: I’ve been thinking about learning Spanish.
B: Spanish is easy. I’ll be happy to teach you.
A: How long will it take me to learn?
B: I think it will only take you a year or two.
A: How soon can we begin?
B: Ahora! That means right now.

68. It’s the Only Earth We’ve Got

A: Do you know what today is?
B: Yes, it’s April 22.
A: It’s more than just a date.
B: Is it your birthday or anniversary?
A: No, it’s Earth Day.
B: What’s that?
A: It’s a yearly reminder to take care of our planet.
B: Oh, you mean like reuse things and recycle stuff?
A: Yes. We need to think green, save water, and stop using plastic bags.
B: How about if I take shorter showers?
A: That’s a good idea, because showers waste a lot of water.
B: From now on I’ll spend only 20 minutes in the shower.

69. No Time for Rhyme

A: Poetry sucks.
B: I don’t know anyone who likes it.
A: Some of it is okay, I guess.
B: Yes, the poems that rhyme and are easy to remember.
A: Like “One, two, buckle my shoe.”
B: But people still write poems.
A: No one makes any money at it.
B: Shakespeare was a poet.
A: Did he get rich from his poetry?
B: Probably not.
A: Poems are a little bit like songs.
B: Yes, but songs have music. Without music, songs would suck, too.

70. Dumb and Happy

A: How smart are you?
B: I don’t know. I think I’m average.
A: Did you ever take an IQ test?
B: No, I never did. All I know is that I got A’s and B’s in school.
A: I wish I was really smart.
B: Don’t be ridiculous.
A: What do you mean?
B: If you’re going to make a wish, wish that you were really rich or famous.
A: Don’t you ever wonder what it’s like to be super-smart?
B: It must be very lonely.
A: Why’s that?
B: Because if you’re super-smart, no one understands what you’re saying.

71. Live from NBC 4!

A: I missed the TV news last night. What was on?
B: Nothing that would pass as news.
A: What’s the weather going to be like this weekend?
B: I don’t know. Whenever the weather comes on, I switch channels.
A: What was the lead story on the news?
B: Some actress was in court for driving without a license.
A: What was the second story?
B: Some actor married a woman young enough to be his daughter.
A: What was the third story?
B: A bull chased a man in a supermarket.
A: Wasn’t there anything about Octo-Mom?
B: Of course. She’s going to hire a nanny for her eight infants.

72. Life after Death

A: What are you going to do about your death?
B: Well, mostly I’ll try to avoid it.
A: I mean, are you going to get buried or cremated?
B: My wife and I will be cremated.
A: Are you going to be buried next to each other?
B: Oh, no. Our ashes will be shaken into the ocean.
A: You’re not going to be buried?
B: A coffin costs too much and takes up too much space.
A: Yes, but it will be in a cemetery where your children can visit you.
B: Children seldom visit their parents in a cemetery.
A: That’s true. A cemetery is for dead people, not living people.
B: We figure our kids can visit us whenever they go to the beach.

73. Wipe Your Feet

A: Did you wipe your feet?
B: Yes, of course I wiped my feet.
A: Then why is there mud on the carpet?
B: I don’t know. It’s not my mud.
A: Well, someone brought it into the house.
B: Look at the bottom of my shoes—they’re clean.
A: Of course they’re clean. You left all the mud on the carpet.
B: Okay, I’ll get the vacuum cleaner.
A: Don’t vacuum it now.
B: Don’t you want me to clean up the mud?
A: Wait till it dries. It will be easier to vacuum.
B: Next time I will be more careful.

74. Mother’s Day

A: What are you getting for your mom?
B: What are you talking about?
A: Sunday is Mother’s Day.
B: This Sunday?
A: Of course. It’s all over the news.
B: I thought it was next Sunday.
A: Well, you’d better get her something.
B: I’ll get her a nice card.
A: Is that it?
B: Yes. That’s all I ever give her.
A: She raised you, and all you ever give her is a card?
B: It’s okay. She knows that I love her.

75. A New Flag

A: I don’t like our flag.
B: What’s the matter with it?
A: It’s too much like other flags.
B: Yes, a lot of flags have stripes.
A: A flag should be pretty.
B: What should our flag look like?
A: It should have a pretty woman on it.
B: That’s ridiculous!
A: You don’t like pretty women?
B: Of course I do. But not on our flag!
A: Every nation should have a pretty woman on their flag.
B: You can’t go to war carrying a flag with a woman on it!

76. Work up an Appetite

A: I had a busy morning.
B: What did you do?
A: I watered all the plants.
B: You have a lot of plants.
A: Then I did my laundry.
B: That takes some time.
A: I took the dog for a walk.
B: I’ll bet he enjoyed his walk.
A: I vacuumed the entire house.
B: That’s a lot of work.
A: And then I made lunch.
B: I’ll bet you were hungry!

77. Dialing for a Dollar

A: I don’t have long distance service with my home phone.
B: So how do you make long distance calls?
A: I use a calling card.
B: Where do you get that?
A: I buy it at the dollar store.
B: How much is it?
A: It’s one dollar for 100 minutes.
B: That’s only a penny a minute!
A: It’s a great price. But you have to dial a lot of numbers.
B: How many?
A: First you dial seven numbers, then ten numbers, then ten more
B: Yikes. I think I’ll keep my long distance service.

School Life

78. I Go to College

A: Do you go to college?
B: Yes, I do.
A: What college do you go to?
B: I go to Pasadena City College.
A: Do you like it?
B: Oh, yes, I really like it.
A: Why do you like it?
B: Because it has great teachers.
A: What else?
B: I like all my classmates, too.
A: Anything else?
B: Yes. It’s not expensive!

79. A Lost Pen

A: I lost my new pen.
B: Where did you lose it?
A: I don’t know.
B: When did you lose it?
A: I think I lost it today. I used it yesterday.
B: Did you check all your pockets?
A: I checked all my pockets.
B: Did you look in your desk?
A: Yes. It isn’t there, either.
B: It’s probably around somewhere.
A: Oh, well, it only cost me a dollar.
B: Only a dollar? Don’t even look for it.

80. Gravity for All

A: Gravity is very important.
B: What is gravity?
A: It’s the force that pulls everything down.
B: I don’t understand.
A: If you pour water into a glass, the water goes down into the glass.
B: Of course it does.
A: Without gravity, the water would go up.
B: You’re joking.
A: Without gravity, you would go up.
B: What do you mean?
A: You would float into the sky like a balloon.
B: That would be fun!

81. New Glasses

A: I can’t read my book.
B: Turn on the light.
A: The light is on.
B: Open the book.
A: The book is open.
B: See an eye doctor.
A: That’s what I need to do.
B: He’ll give you a prescription for glasses.
A: I’ll make an appointment tomorrow.
B: I’ll get the yellow pages for an eye doctor.
A: Read the phone number to me.
B: I’ll read it very loud, in case your hearing is getting bad, too.

82. School Items

A: What do you need for school?
B: I need pencils.
A: Anything else?
B: I need a notebook.
A: Do you need a pen?
B: No. I already have a pen.
A: Do you need a calculator?
B: No. The teacher doesn’t permit calculators.
A: How about a dictionary?
B: No, we have a big dictionary in the classroom.
A: Well, I guess that’s it.
B: Yes, that’s all I need for now.

83. A Good Magazine

A: I like this magazine.
B: So do I.
A: I read it once, and I subscribed.
B: It gives you all the news.
A: All the news in only 50 pages.
B: I like the political cartoons.
A: I like the beautiful photos of the houses for sale.
B: I always read the film reviews.
A: I never miss the food and drink section.
B: I gave a subscription to my parents.
A: Me too. They canceled their other news magazines.
B: So did mine!

84. Shake Your Pen

A: My pen is out of ink.
B: Shake it a couple of times.
A: I shook it. There is no more ink.
B: You can borrow mine.
A: Thank you. I’ll buy a new one tomorrow.
B: What were you doing?
A: I was writing a letter.
B: Who were you writing to?
A: It’s to my mom.
B: Tell her I said hello.
A: Okay. I’ll return your pen when I’m done.
B: Take your time.

85. Do Your Homework

A: Have you done your homework?
B: Not yet.
A: Then why are you watching TV?
B: This is my favorite show.
A: Go do your homework.
B: But, mom!
A: You can watch TV after you do your homework.
B: But the show will be over.
A: There will be another show next week.
B: Please?
A: You know the rules.
B: I hate the rules! I can’t wait till I grow up.

86. The Soldier

A: I can’t wait until I graduate.
B: Me too.
A: No more homework.
B: I hate homework.
A: Are you going to college?
B: I can’t afford it.
A: Me neither.
B: So what are you going to do?
A: I’m joining the army.
B: You’re kidding. You might get killed.
A: I don’t think so. After I finish, I’ll have enough money to go to college.
B: That’s not a bad idea.

87. The English Major

A: What is your major?
B: English.
A: What are you going to do with an English major?
B: I’m going to be a teacher.
A: High school or middle school?
B: High school.
A: I teach high school English.
B: I didn’t know that.
A: I started teaching five years ago.
B: How do you like it?
A: Do you see all this gray hair? It was totally black five years ago.
B: Maybe I’ll teach middle school.

88. No Parking

A: Parking at school is impossible.
B: I’ll say.
A: I drove around for half an hour.
B: Did you find a spot?
A: I found a spot, but someone cut in and took it from me.
B: Did you yell at them?
A: Yes, I did.
B: And?
A: And he yelled back at me.
B: How rude.
A: But I got lucky a few minutes later.
B: You have to be lucky to find a parking space.

89. Keep Your Eyes Open

A: This is a huge library.
B: Yes, it has lots of rooms and lots of space.
A: And lots of books.
B: And lots of thieves.
A: What do you mean?
B: I mean, keep your belongings close to you.
A: The only thing in my backpack is used books.
B: But thieves don’t know that.
A: They might think that I’ve got an iPod or laptop in there.
B: Now you’re thinking.
A: You’d think a library would be safe from thieves.
B: Not even a church is safe from thieves.

90. Two Plus Two

A: How good is your math?
B: I can add two and two.
A: So you’re not very good at math?
B: I’m terrible at math.
A: Well, I need some help.
B: With what?
A: I’m taking a math course in school.
B: Well, you should ask your teacher or your classmates for help.
A: I can’t do that.
B: Why not?
A: They might think I’m stupid.
B: They’re not going to think that! They’ll be glad to help you.

91. Prayers

A: Do you believe in God?
B: Of course.
A: Do you pray to God?
B: Occasionally.
A: When’s that?
B: When I need something.
A: Like what?
B: Well, if I have a big test at school.
A: Does God answer your prayers?
B: Yes, I’ve passed all my tests.
A: Do you ever pray for money?
B: Not yet. I won’t need to do that until I graduate from high school.

92. Hit and Run

A: The cops finally found the husband.
B: What husband?
A: The husband of the driver who ran over two college students at 3 a.m.
B: Oh, yeah. The girl died instantly, and the boy is still in the hospital.
A: The husband said he tried to help the boy.
B: Yes, he pushed him off the hood of the car.
A: No, he said he gently placed the boy on the street.
B: So what? They still drove off.
A: The husband said a fire department was nearby.
B: So what? Did he dial 911?
A: He said he was thinking about it, but he didn’t get around to it.
B: He didn’t get around to turning himself in, either.


93. What Will People Think?

A: I don’t like riding the bus.
B: Why not?
A: The seats and windows are dirty.
B: Don’t they clean the bus every night?
A: I think they do.
B: You should bring some wipes with you.
A: That’s a good idea.
B: Then you can wipe your seat and window.
A: People will think I’m strange.
B: Who cares? Everyone is strange.
A: That’s for sure.
B: Don’t worry about what people think.

94. Don’t Ride the Bus

A: I don’t like riding the bus.
B: Why not?
A: Number one, it’s too slow.
B: You’re right. A car is faster.
A: Number two, it’s usually late.
B: You’re right. The buses are never on time.
A: Number three, it doesn’t run 24 hours.
B: You’re right. Buses don’t run late at night.
A: Number four, it’s too crowded.
B: You’re right. You have to stand in the aisle.
A: Number five, it’s unsafe.
B: You’re right. Bad guys might rob you.

95. Don’t Cut the Tires

A: We had a problem at school.
B: What was the problem?
A: Someone cut the tires.
B: What tires?
A: The tires on the cars.
B: Where were the cars?
A: They were in the student parking lot.
B: How many tires were cut?
A: One or two tires were cut on each car.
B: How many cars?
A: Eleven cars.
B: That’s terrible. I hope they catch the person.

96. The Crosswalk

A: Life isn’t fair.
B: It sure isn’t.
A: I got a ticket yesterday.
B: What for?
A: I was crossing the street.
B: Were you in a crosswalk?
A: Yes, but the red hand was blinking.
B: So? That’s a ticket?
A: Yes, it’s a $140 ticket.
B: That’s not right!
A: When I started to cross the street, the white walk sign was blinking.
B: You need to walk faster.

97. It’s Okay to Speed

A: You’re driving too fast.
B: Why do you say that?
A: The speed limit is 65.
B: I know that.
A: But you’re doing 75.
B: So is everyone else.
A: But a cop might stop you.
B: No, he won’t. Some cars are doing 85.
A: So the cop will stop those cars?
B: Of course. He stops the fastest cars.
A: My friend got a ticket for doing 75.
B: Your friend was unlucky.

98. Check Your Tires

A: Remember to put air in your tires.
B: How often do I have to do that?
A: Once every two months.
B: That’s a lot.
A: What do you mean?
B: That’s six times a year!
A: Yes, and it takes about five minutes each time.
B: I’ll try.
A: Check your tires or you’ll get a flat.
B: Oh. That’s not good.
A: No, it isn’t. A flat costs you time and money.
B: And I don’t have either.

99. Don’t Be in a Hurry

A: You’re driving too fast.
B: I’m in a hurry.
A: Don’t ever be in a hurry.
B: It’s not my fault. You didn’t wake me up.
A: That’s not my fault. You didn’t tell me to wake you up.
B: Well, I meant to.
A: Don’t ever be in a hurry when you’re driving.
B: Why not?
A: Because you’ll have an accident. Most accidents are because people
are in a hurry.
B: How do you know that?
A: I read a lot.
B: I thought drunks caused most accidents.

100. A New Car

A: Let’s go for a ride.
B: Where are we going?
A: Into the mountains.
B: That sounds nice.
A: I want to show you my new car.
B: You bought a new car?
A: Yes. I bought a Cadillac.
B: A luxury car.
A: Luxury plus speed.
B: What are we waiting for?
A: Let me get the keys.
B: Let me get my camera.

101. I’m Going to Explode

A: I have to go to the bathroom.
B: Why didn’t you go before we left?
A: I did, but I have to go again.
B: Well, hold on a little longer.
A: I think I’m going to explode.
B: Just hold on.
A: Oh! Don’t hit any more bumps!
B: We’ll be at McDonald’s in just a few minutes.
A: I hope they are fast minutes.
B: Think about something else. Think about a hamburger.
A: I’m thinking, but I still have to go.
B: It’s the next exit. Hold on!

102. The Missing Car

A: Where’s the car?
B: What do you mean?
A: The car isn’t here.
B: Where did you park it?
A: I parked it right here.
B: Are you sure?
A: Yes. I remember this big tree.
B: Maybe it’s the wrong tree.
A: No, this is the tree.
B: Did someone steal it?
A: I sure hope not.
B: Maybe they towed it away.

103. Too Many Cars

A: Look at this traffic.
B: I’d rather not.
A: It gets worse every year.
B: Why are you complaining? We’re going almost 20 miles an hour.
A: The speed limit is 65!
B: Well, that’s between 2:00 and 4:00 a.m.
A: Where are all these people going?
B: They’re all asking the same question.
A: When are they going to fix this problem?
B: They said they need more money.
A: They always need more money.
B: It’ll get worse before it gets better.

104. Don’t Call the Police

A: Did you see that car?
B: Yes, he went through the red light.
A: Can we call the police?
B: No, the police don’t care.
A: Why not?
B: They have to see it happen.
A: They don’t believe us?
B: No. They can only give a ticket if they see it happen.
A: So, what do we do?
B: We don’t do anything.
A: Maybe we should honk the horn next time.
B: The driver will just honk back at us.

105. Wash the Car

A: My car is dirty.
B: Why don’t you wash it?
A: That’s what I’m going to do.
B: Are you going to wash it yourself?
A: Of course. It’s not a hard job.
B: I’ll help you.
A: Okay, I’ll get a bucket.
B: I’ll rinse the car first.
A: Then we can scrub it with a wet sponge and soap.
B: After that, we can dry it with a towel.
A: Then it will look like new
B: And you save $10.

106. Windy Weather

A: It sure is windy today.
B: Paper is flying everywhere.
A: This wind is dangerous for drivers.
B: Especially for drivers of big trucks.
A: The wind blows those trucks over.
B: It blows trees over, too.
A: A tree fell onto my dad’s car.
B: Was there much damage?
A: My dad had to buy a new car.
B: Wow! That’s terrible.
A: Never park your car under a tree.
B: The wind will get you, or the birds will get you.

107. Two Birds with One Stone

A: When are we going to stop?
B: We’ll stop at the next McDonald’s.
A: How far away is that?
B: I think we’ll be there in half an hour.
A: I hope so. I have to go to the bathroom.
B: Well, I can always pull over.
A: No, thank you, I’ll just wait.
B: We can kill two birds with one stone.
A: What do you mean?
B: While you’re using the bathroom, I’ll order some food.
A: Don’t order for me. I’m not hungry.
B: I’m very hungry. I’ll order for you, and then I’ll eat yours.

108. Beat the Light

A: This is such a long light.
B: Look how many cars are waiting in line.
A: They need a left-turn arrow.
B: Only two cars can make a left turn every three or four minutes.
A: We’ll be here forever.
B: Get out of this lane.
A: But we need to turn left.
B: Forget it. Go straight.
A: Then what?
B: Then we’ll just make a U-turn.
A: And then we can turn right at the light.
B: Good idea. It will be so much quicker.

109. A Dream Car

A: I need a cheap car.
B: How much money do you have?
A: $1,000.
B: Well, that should get you something.
A: But I need something that’s reliable.
B: You need a car with low mileage.
A: A car that was owned by a little old lady.
B: Where have you looked?
A: I haven’t looked anywhere yet.
B: Why not?
A: Because I’ll never find one for such a low price.
B: You’re right about that. Keep saving your money.

110. A Bad Driver?

A: Good afternoon, officer.
B: Your driver’s license and registration, please.
A: Here you go.
B: Do you know why I pulled you over?
A: I have no idea. All of a sudden I heard your siren.
B: You rolled through that stop sign back there.
A: But I stopped!
B: No, you didn’t. You slowed down, but you didn’t come to a full stop.
A: Well, nobody else does, so why should I?
B: That’s not the attitude of a good driver.
A: But I am a good driver. I’ve never had a ticket in my life.
B: Well, you’ve got one now. Here. Have a nice day.

111. A Slow Walker

A: $140. I can’t believe it.
B: What are you talking about?
A: I got a ticket downtown for $140.
B: Were you speeding?
A: No, I was crossing the street.
B: Were you jaywalking?
A: No, I was in the crosswalk.
B: So why did you get a ticket?
A: The officer said the red hand was blinking.
B: Was it blinking when you entered the crosswalk?
A: No, the white WALK sign was blinking.
B: You should fight that ticket. I’ll be your witness.

112. Hit and Run

A: They were in a crosswalk near school at 3 a.m.
B: Who?
A: Two students from USC.
B: What happened?
A: A speeding car ran a red light, killing the girl.
B: What happened to the other student?
A: He landed on the hood of the car.
B: Did he get off the hood?
A: No, the car stopped and the passenger pushed the injured student off
the hood.
B: I’ll bet the car continued on its way.
A: Of course it did. Why stop after you’ve run over two people?
B: I hope they find them and put them in jail for life.

113. Beware the Carts

A: What happened to your car?
B: I got a dent in the parking lot.
A: How did you get it?
B: I don’t know. Maybe it was from a shopping cart.
A: Those shopping carts are dangerous.
B: Especially the metal ones.
A: I don’t park at a store that uses metal shopping carts.
B: That’s a good idea, but there was a good sale at this store.
A: Did you save any money on the sale?
B: Yes, I did. I saved about $50.
A: That’s great.
B: Yes, except this dent will cost about $150.


114. A Great Movie

A: Did you see “Titanic”?
B: Yes. It is a great movie.
A: I saw it twelve times.
B: I saw it eight times.
A: I have the DVD.
B: So do I.
A: Let’s go to your home.
B: We can watch my DVD.
A: And then we can go to my home.
B: And watch your DVD.
A: I always cry at the end.
B: Me too. It’s so sad.

115. A Card Game

A: Let’s play cards.
B: I don’t know any card games.
A: I’ll teach you one.
B: Okay. What will you teach me?
A: It’s called poker.
B: Is it easy to learn?
A: Yes, it will only take about 30 minutes.
B: Okay. Teach me how to play.
A: We each get five cards.
B: Oh, look. I have four tens.
A: That’s great, but you’re not supposed to tell me.
B: Oh. Sorry. Okay, I don’t have four tens.

116. I Have Four Aces

A: I’m a good card player.
B: Why is that?
A: Because I watch the other players.
B: What do you mean?
A: People will tell you if they have a good hand.
B: How do they do that?
A: For example, a friend of mine licks his lips.
B: When he licks his lips, you know he has a good hand?
A: I know he has a good hand, so I don’t bet.
B: He never wins your money?
A: Nope, and it drives him crazy.
B: He knows you can’t read his mind. Maybe he thinks you’re cheating.

117. Too Much Volume

A: Turn the radio down, please.
B: But I’m listening to it.
A: Well, listen to it more quietly.
B: I can’t wait till I grow up.
A: What will you do?
B: I will play the radio as loud as I want.
A: That’s okay with me.
B: I will have a radio in every room of my house.
A: Remind me to never visit you.
B: All the radios will be on extra loud.
A: Your neighbors will hate you.
B: If they don’t like it, they can move.

118. Don’t Waste Your Money

A: I hope I win the lotto.
B: Your chances are very small.
A: But you can’t win if you don’t play.
B: Ha! You can’t win if you do play.
A: Someone has to win.
B: That’s what everyone says.
A: It might as well be me.
B: That’s what everyone says.
A: You’re trying to tell me something.
B: That didn’t take long.
A: You think I should quit playing.
B: Save your money for school.

119. Rained Out

A: What’s on TV?
B: Nothing much.
A: What about the baseball game?
B: It got rained out.
A: Rained out?
B: Yes, rained out.
A: How could that be?
B: Well, you can’t play baseball in a rainstorm.
A: I thought they were playing under a dome.
B: The dome doesn’t close.
A: Why doesn’t it close?
B: Who knows? They said they’ll fix it before next season.

120. A Sip of Coffee

A: Can I try your coffee?
B: Sure. Here you go.
A: Hmm, that’s not bad.
B: There’s nothing in it.
A: What do you mean?
B: I mean, it’s just coffee.
A: I figured that.
B: It’s not too bitter for you?
A: It’s a little bitter, but it’s okay.
B: There’s no sugar or cream in it.
A: No, it’s a taste you have to get used to.
B: Sort of like beer.

121. A Chilly Day

A: Let’s take a walk.
B: What’s the weather like?
A: Let me step outside and see.
B: It’s a little chilly, right?
A: Yes, it is.
B: I’ll put on my cap.
A: Wear a jacket, too.
B: I wonder if I should bring my gloves.
A: Maybe you should, just in case it gets colder.
B: I’ll put a glove in each pocket.
A: We’ll get warmer as we walk.
B: Yes, but it gets colder as the sun goes down.

122. A Crazy Driver

A: Look at the car chase on TV!
B: That driver is crazy.
A: I can’t believe he hasn’t crashed.
B: How fast is he going?
A: They say he’s going 80 miles per hour.
B: He’s going to kill someone.
A: Look! He just hit that car.
B: Oh, my goodness. No one is safe on the streets.
A: Now he’s slowing down.
B: Maybe he ran out of gas.
A: Look! He just got out of the car and started running.
B: I hope the police catch him.

123. It Isn’t News

A: TV news is so stupid.
B: They shouldn’t even call it news.
A: Last night they told us about a cat in a sofa.
B: Yesterday they told us about a dog in a pipe.
A: Last week they told us about a bear in a back yard.
B: Last month they told us about a mouse in a restaurant.
A: The weatherman tells us the temperature in every town.
B: The sports guy shows us players fighting.
A: They always tell us “what’s next.”
B: They always make “what’s next” sound exciting, but it never is.
A: It’s more like news for kids.
B: They should have kid reporters.

124. The Great Wall

A: I love my computer.
B: Computers are so cool.
A: I love to go online.
B: The Internet is amazing.
A: You can travel all over the world.
B: I know. I went to China yesterday.
A: What did you do?
B: I stood on the Great Wall and looked all around.
A: What was it like?
B: It was like the real thing.
A: It was like being there?
B: Yes, I felt like I was actually there.

125. The Beatles

A: The Beatles are the best.
B: They are the best musical group ever.
A: I love all their songs.
B: I don’t know which one I like the best.
A: I like the ones I can sing along with.
B: So do I, like “She Loves You.”
A: “She loves you, Yeah, yeah, yeah!…”
B: “…And you know you should be glad!”
A: What a great song.
B: How about “Let It Be?”
A: Oh, yes! “Let it be, let it be…”
B: “…There will be an answer, let it be!”

126. See a Movie

A: Let’s go to a movie.
B: I’d rather not.
A: Why not?
B: You know I don’t like crowds.
A: Let’s go to an early movie.
B: Okay, that won’t be very crowded.
A: What would you like to see?
B: Oh, I don’t care. You’re the one who wants to go out.
A: Well, I want to see “The Pursuit of Happyness.”
B: What have you heard about it?
A: It’s based on a true story about a divorced man and his young son.
B: Well, I hope it has a happy ending.

127. People-Watching

A: What’s your favorite thing to do?
B: I like to watch people.
A: That’s your favorite thing to do?
B: Well, it’s one of them.
A: Where do you go to watch people?
B: My girlfriend and I sit outside Starbucks.
A: That sounds like a good spot.
B: We watch people walk by with their dogs.
A: I guess you see lots of different dogs.
B: We don’t even know what kind most of them are.
A: There are lots of different kinds, but they all have one thing in common.
B: Yes, they love to sniff each other when they meet.

128. Free Money

A: They call him Father Dollar Bill.
B: Yes, he was on the TV news today.
A: Every Easter Sunday he gives away money.
B: Is it his money?
A: No. Movie stars give him money to give to homeless people.
B: How much money does he give away?
A: This year he gave away $15,000.
B: That’s a lot of money.
A: He gave $100 to people in wheelchairs.
B: What about the other homeless people?
A: They got $1 each.
B: People stood in line just to get one dollar?

129. Old Movies

A: Old movies are the best.
B: Even though they’re in black and white.
A: A good story is more important than color.
B: Actors didn’t curse back then.
A: And there was no violence.
B: People today don’t like that.
A: No, today people like lots of action.
B: I like a good story.
A: I like to see actors who are like real people.
B: Like real people with real problems.
A: They still make movies like that.
B: Yes, but they never make much money.

130. Something for Nothing

A: Do you get PBS on TV?
B: Yes, everybody gets the Public Broadcasting System.
A: It puts me to sleep.
B: Tell me about it.
A: A gardening show follows a knitting show.
B: A cooking show follows a sewing show.
A: A travel show follows another travel show.
B: I’ll say! I’ve gone around the world a dozen times already!
A: Now they’re adding old TV shows to the old movies.
B: I sure would like to see something interesting for a change.
A: If more people donate money, PBS could offer new shows.
B: Who wants to donate? Public TV should be free.

131. Judge Judy

A: I love to watch “Judge Judy.”
B: Is that a TV show?
A: Yes. It’s on every afternoon.
B: What’s so good about it?
A: They have interesting lawsuits.
B: Such as?
A: Yesterday, a woman complained about a cell phone she bought on
B: Was something wrong with the phone?
A: It works only in Canada.
B: Did the seller know that?
A: Yes, and he didn’t tell the buyer.
B: I hope Judge Judy made the seller take the phone back.

132. A Good Singer

A: That woman is a very good singer.
B: Yes, but she looks like a man.
A: What difference does it make?
B: Female singers are supposed to be pretty.
A: Singers are supposed to sound good.
B: They should look good, too.
A: There are lots of ugly men singers.
B: Men singers don’t have to look good.
A: Then neither do women singers.
B: Well, I would never buy her CD.
A: But you would buy her CD if she was pretty?
B: Yes. I would buy all of her CDs.

133. Going Digital

A: All the TV stations are going to go digital.
B: Yes, that will occur next month.
A: Most of them are already broadcasting in digital.
B: The digital signal is very clear.
A: Oh, no, it isn’t!
B: What do you mean?
A: I can’t get a single channel.
B: Do you have a digital TV?
A: Of course. But I don’t have cable.
B: You don’t need to have cable, but you do need a good antenna.
A: But I have rabbit ears.
B: Rabbit ears aren’t strong enough. Buy a digital antenna.

Cho mình 5 sao nhé!!!